Think of it in terms of a boxing match.
Two years ago, I started Built on Respect to support the Tibetan community, and fight for human rights awareness. I’m not sure how, but looking back I now see that at that same time I changed my practice; I hadn’t been reading dharma books or meditating. Instead, there was a transformation. I went with the most basic things I knew — practice compassion, and watch my mind.
Now, two years later, I have realized that lojong itself is a full time job. To observe your surroundings, to try and find solutions to problems, to try and transform the anger that arises from unjust situations, and to try to solve it in a positive manner. I’ve started several businesses, but this has been the biggest freefall, the biggest fight, and the most educational thing I have ever done.
As I currently make about 1/5th of my NYC rent, and live off savings (spending half my year in Dharamsala), I have no fear. What I do have, I am thankful for: I am actually, truly thankful for the “punches” I receive every day — the challenges that “just when I think I have a problem solved” blindside me.
These daily surprises have forced me to think creatively, dispel anger quickly, and counter. Some days I’m bruised, others I can block the punches, and others I can strike back and defeat.
I’m surrounded by coaches, surprisingly, people I have never met come forward and offer support, and I’m learning that when I put out there what I need, my coaches rally, and the problems disappear. I’m learning to ask for help, and to share the victory when it arrives. I do NOTHING on my own.
For how much I believe in Buddhism, I rarely write my opinions, or share my direct experiences — there are plenty of people much wiser than me who have done this. But in the past two years, my mind continuously goes back to one story — of a monk who had black and white pebbles. White pebbles were for good thoughts, and black pebbles were for delusional thoughts. He watched his mind all day, in hopes of having a pile of only white pebbles at the end of a day.
As I work each day, and am confronted with left hooks and jabs, I think about the pebbles, and have realized that in the past two years, I have come nowhere close to an all-white pile. That’s truly daunting, but I don’t let it get to me. Instead, I laugh a bit, and think about blocking and ducking, and how much more quick my reflexes have become — and how much more flexible I find my mind, and I appreciate all those left hooks all the more.
Some “last round” thoughts:
What I learned “on the mat” was that anger has been my biggest delusion. The moment I came to realize that, I came to the analogy of fighting: I had already begun to address the larger topics — human rights violations, major injustices in the world, and had started Built on Respect to find these problems, and try to creative positive solutions.
But, dealing with a “big picture” doesn’t mean that you’ve addressed the real nature. So, now I’ve gotten off the mat, and into the ring — and put my mind into training.
What are you fighting for, and how do you do it — on the mat, or off? I want to hear from you.