Karen Maezen Miller’s advice on coming back from retreat and finding mindfulness in our daily life.
Last week I attended a retreat and came home infused with quiet calm and well-being. Then I glanced at the headlines in the newspaper and was shocked anew at the unimaginable depth of pain in this world. The scope of suffering is inconceivable. How can we respond in the face of this?
Where do we begin to do good? I will tell you the only way I know to begin.
Empty the full hampers, sort and wash the laundry without resentment or commentary.
Sweep the floor of dust, mud and crumbs at your feet.
Don’t ask who made the mess.
At the grocery store, give your place in line to the person behind you.
Ask the checker how her day is going, and mean it.
On the way out, give your pocket money to the solicitor at the card table no matter what the cause.
Buy a cup of lemonade from the kids on the sidewalk stand. Tell them to keep the change.
Roll down your car window when you see the homeless man on the corner with the sign. Give him money. Have no concern over what he will do with it.
Smile at him. It might well be the first smile he has seen in a very long time.
Write a thank you letter. Yes, a letter. If you do not have a reason to write one, do it without a reason.
Do not fight with your partner, your roommate, your spouse, or your children. If that seems impossible, just do not engage in the next fight, and don’t worry about the one that comes after. It might not come.
Do not try to convince anyone else of your point of view. That’s why they call it “point” of view. The point is just you.
If you feel yourself tensing in frustration, no matter what the circumstance, say, “I’m sorry.”
Do not indulge in despair over the futility of your impact or question the outcome.
Make yourself at home and take care of it as your own. It’s the only one there is.
Let me just print that up today and tack it to the fridge before I get on to the laundry, dishes, and crumb sweeping ahead of me.
this sounds so simple….why is it so hard?
The addiction to the self is the hardest addiction of all to overcome. So we practice, little by little, keeping it simple.
yes, that must be so. the hardest part (not fighting and not convincing) seem like the biggest ego challenges. I forgot to thank you for the post, you've made sound so doable that it is inspiring.
Karen
Thank you – your posts always inspire me. Some of these I already "try" to be mindful of, but others still need to be! This is something I printed, and will put into my practice. Thanks again!
Dear Karen,
Your post is so inspiring. Thank you so much to remind us about simple and very complicate at same time things. It seems easy when we read them and also when we try to contemplate or meditate about them but it is really difficult bring them to our daily life. We need to learn how to be more gentle, kind and fearless.
Please sorry about my English , I’m from Brazil and sometimes is pretty difficult to express ourselves in another language we are not 100% ( or even 80%) fluent.
Your kindness is 100% fluent. Thank you.
Dear Karen,
Thank you so much for your wisdom and your lovely writing. I look for your posts and think of them often at home. I struggle a lot with how to deal with my very intense, aggressive, explosive 4 year-old son — he is the hardest thing to come home to sometimes, and my hardest compassionate practice. Your posts are always a gift to me.
Warmly, Amy