Photo via Mister 536 (on flickr.com)
Sports fans, especially NBA fans, are outraged by the cheap shot taken by Metta Word Peace — i.e., the Lakers forward formerly known as Ron Artest — that left Oklahoma City’s James Harden with a concussion on Sunday night. Though, ultimately, few are surprised. When Artest/World Peace announced his name change, many scoffed; the infamous player was kidding everybody, it seemed, if he thought a name-change would amount to a bettering of his reputation or his behavior. And let’s face it, the punishing blow Harden absorbed hardly says “peace,” much less “World Peace.”
Nor does it say “Metta.” The question is: What is metta?
Being that it’s translated variously as “loving kindness,” “loving friendliness,” and (as you’ll see in an essay by the American monk Thanisarro Bhikkhu in our coming July 2012 magazine) “goodwill,” we can see pretty quickly that metta is not so far off from the Golden Rule we learn as kids: we should treat others as they deserve to be treated, and as we’d like to be treated — skillfully, and with kindness.
It’s important to remember, of course, that kindness isn’t some simplistic, nicey-nicey greeting-card idea. Skillfulness and discernment are important. As Buddhist teacher Noah Levine put it in his Lion’s Roar article, “Kindness Changes Everything”:
Kindness is a general term. I’m defining kindness as that which will end suffering in each situation, meaning that what is kind will depend on the circumstances. For instance, when it comes to pleasurable experiences, the kind relationship to pleasure is almost always nonattached appreciation. If we can enjoy pleasurable moments without clinging to them or getting caught in craving for them to last forever, then we can avoid the typical suffering we often create around pleasure. So the kind thing to do is to not get attached. And if we are not able to meet pleasure with nonattached appreciation and we become attached, then the kind thing to do is let go. And the next level of kindness that is called for is being patient with ourselves in the process of learning to let go. When we start judging ourselves for not being good at letting go, we respond with forgiveness. Forgiveness is also an act of kindness. Get the picture? The kind thing to do depends on the situation. It does not mean being fake-nice all the time. It means being real and responsive.
Want to learn more about metta? Click here to read Levine’s “Kindness Changes Everything,” and don’t miss these other helpful articles from the Lion’s Roar archives. (Links open in new windows.)
- Love’s Garden — by Peggy Rowe Ward and Larry Ward; includes metta practice instruction.
- Toward a Worldwide Culture of Love — bell h0oks traces her thirty-year meditation on love, power, and Buddhism, and concludes it is only love that transforms our personal relationships and heals the wounds of oppression.
- The Practice of Love — “By allowing yourself the space to be as you are, you discover a self-existing sanity that lies deeper than thought or feeling,” says John Welwood. “For many of us this may be the hardest path of all—opening our hearts to ourselves.”